blackthornedrose's Blog

Have you ever hated to go in your house out of your room and be you? Because you felt you'd be judged for doing what you feel is right? Like your life is being overruled because you feel you could hurt others that you actually hurt yourself emotionally?
Your being overruled and you have no voice to change that!

I used to think children are children, grown-ups are grown-ups. Except children don't know what their doing, they don't know how their words can hurt. But how can you love a little girl so much, yet her choice of words in your presence is like a stabbing knife to the chest. The way she acts towards you which makes you want to cry. Should you be able to act upon that?
Cruel words only go so far, they lead to disfunction.
Yet I feel a pain in my chest that can't be let out, no- one cares about this pain. They would rather have it sink further. And explode deep in me.
This little girls mom, does she see this pain, a mother that I care so much for? She can be so carting and angelic. How can she look right through me and not see the pain written before my eyes?
The care is little, but not much from what I see. It's a death glare that yells 'screech and you die' .. But "pain can only be released, how?.. I wouldn't know, please dont ask me!"... But agleast you know my feelings!... But I will always have you know...
A child so ... So cruel.., agleast I shared this information and released some inner acid pain onto the page, and it cleared my eyes from red, ocean water gloom. The words burned through and gave me strength,

I hope you never have to know a child so..... So cruel

The blood, thick and red traveled between my thick heeled shoes.
The vivid images came through like a sharp thunder of lightening!
The knifes, the skin,...... My bare cold dead hands on my wrist.
Yet I was still okay... I had lived. I was in the hospital... Was it just a dream.
As I began to grow dizzy, I checked my wrist before my vision became unclear......
Cuts everywhere